March 8, 2021

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Cam Newton definitely has to ‘dress’ Bill…

3 min read
Cam Newton definitely has to 'dress' Bill...

Patriots QB Cam Newton should probably “dress” Bill Belichick after the head coach’s wonky Wednesday wardrobe.

It’s well-documented that Patriots head coach Bill Belichick doesn’t tend to prioritize his physical appearance while addressing the media.

Like every team in the NFL, all players and members of coaching staffs have set weekly schedules when they’re supposed to speak with reporters, whether it be analyzing a previous game or previewing an upcoming contest.

Therefore, it would make sense for them to pick out a sharp-looking outfit to wear for the occasion, right? For the players and coaches who don’t feel comfortable dressing to the nines before they get in front of the microphone, however, they at least make it a priority to look presentable.

Belichick obviously fits the latter description, but his disheveled look during Wednesday’s presser might have been an all-time low for him, which says a lot considering his track record. In fact, we would go as far as to say that Cam Newton, in referencing his comments about his contract from Tuesday, might actually need to “dress” the six-time champion from here on out.

“Money at this particular point in my career is not important,” Newton said. “Let’s be honest: I’ve made money, but for everything that I play this game for, I haven’t received yet. And that’s why I’m playing. So it’s not about money, it’s about respect.

“In the fine tunes of my contract, since we’re talking contracts, if I hit certain incentives I will be able to dress all the coaches, including Bill Belichick. So that’s something I’m looking forward to.”

We would normally say that Belichick cares too much about football — and so little about his physical appearance — that fans in New England shouldn’t bat an eye looking at this photo, but this is almost unspeakably careless by the 68-year-old legend. It looks as though he rolled out of bed and went straight to the podium before even looking in a mirror.

At least run a comb through your hair, Bill!

Belichick would obviously never allow Newton to pick out his outfit, but he should at least be open to taking pointers from him on the heels of this catastrophe. That, of course, is assuming that the former MVP sticks to the basics.

Oh, we pictured it, alright. And you know what? The mental image wasn’t nearly as scarring as Wednesday’s disaster. We’re not asking for a high-class suit for Belichick, but maybe he could try a relatively new Patriots sweatshirt that isn’t ripped and losing its color? Having a team hat at the ready in the event his hair isn’t falling into place certainly couldn’t hurt, either.

Pretty much anything other than what Belichick went with on Wednesday would have sufficed, and it’s now officially time for Cam to step in and work his wardrobe magic.

Cam Newton definitely has to ‘dress’ Bill Belichick after seeing coach’s Wednesday wardrobe

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